Satirical Driving Aficionado Gifts

Driving School - "Now I want you to reverse around a corner whilst talking into your mobile phone."

Things Mothers don't want to hear from their five year olds...

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

'It was HIS fault, he was doing the SPEED LIMIT!'

"This one contains our tailgating deterrent feature."

Warning, It's raining cats and dogs.

No U-turns

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

Driving a Lemon.

"I've caught you not stopping at a red light."

"You call that teaching."

Frog rearview mirror ornaments.

"Do you think the atmosphere would be better if the roof was closed?"

Rust in Piece - Second Hand Car Salesman.

"Check your mirrors. Signal before pulling into traffic. And watch that lead foot!"

Comedy Club. Open Mic Nite. A car doing comedy? It it's like mine, it'll make funny noises!

"Could we try parking again please, Mr. Zog?"

'When I tap the keyboard I want you to do an emergency stop.'

'Morning Mr Walker, remember me? You sacked me last month...'

'When you get your permit, you get to sit over here in the driver's seat.'

"Could be just a coincidence, but that whining noise seems to stop when your husband gets out of the car."

"To all the owners of cars in our parking lot: your left blinker is on."

'Turning Left' lights on front of car.

'I'm giving you a ticket for driving too slow.'

Honk honk here, honk honk there, everywhere a honk honk

"Do you sell backup cameras?"

Driving Instructions/Backseat Driver

'I dreamed last night that she was sixteen and had a learner's permit.'

'This time the auto maker is recalling all the drivers.'

How's my Reaction Time? Call 1-800-OLDTIMER.

Wow, Ernie! That's some headwind!

Econo Air-bag

Humpty Dumpty's car.