Satirical Driving Aficionado T-Shirts

Driving School - "Now I want you to reverse around a corner whilst talking into your mobile phone."

Things Mothers don't want to hear from their five year olds...

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

'It was HIS fault, he was doing the SPEED LIMIT!'

"This one contains our tailgating deterrent feature."

Warning, It's raining cats and dogs.

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

No U-turns

Driving a Lemon.

Frog rearview mirror ornaments.

"I've caught you not stopping at a red light."

"You call that teaching."

"Do you think the atmosphere would be better if the roof was closed?"

"Check your mirrors. Signal before pulling into traffic. And watch that lead foot!"

Rust in Piece - Second Hand Car Salesman.

"Could we try parking again please, Mr. Zog?"

'Morning Mr Walker, remember me? You sacked me last month...'

'When I tap the keyboard I want you to do an emergency stop.'

'When you get your permit, you get to sit over here in the driver's seat.'

"Do you sell backup cameras?"

'I dreamed last night that she was sixteen and had a learner's permit.'

Driving Instructions/Backseat Driver

'I'm giving you a ticket for driving too slow.'

'Turning Left' lights on front of car.

"Could be just a coincidence, but that whining noise seems to stop when your husband gets out of the car."

'This time the auto maker is recalling all the drivers.'

How's my Reaction Time? Call 1-800-OLDTIMER.

Humpty Dumpty's car.

"I asked you to do a 3-point turn. What you've done is a full 12-point penalty turn!"

Econo Air-bag