Discussing Shows Gifts

'It's easy to criticize.'

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

Succession 2

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"What would you like to watch again?"

"I wanted a partner... I got a co-host."

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

'What TV show do frog princes go on ...?...'

'Yeah, my phone folds out into a TV tray.'

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

Trappist talk show.

"Well, now we know what Letterman's doing, what are we doing?"

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I neglected to talk over you."

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

'We've got a 50 inch hd lcd 3d t.v with 200 channels and there's nothing on.'

'The way I see it, with all the talk shows out there, nobody needs a wife!'

'He's got a lot of talent and everything, but I just don't think he's cut out for talk radio.'