Discussing Shows Gifts

'It's easy to criticize.'

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

Succession 2

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

Must-See Lockdown TV.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

Day two of our series: America's sleeping pill addiction. My guest, pillhead Rudy Park. I'm not a pillhead. Come clean. Admit the obvious truth. What truth? Rush Limbaugh made you do it! A political pundit never misses an opportunity. You got hooked only after O'Reilly harassed you.

"What would you like to watch again?"

"I wanted a partner... I got a co-host."

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

'What TV show do frog princes go on ...?...'

'Yeah, my phone folds out into a TV tray.'

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

Rudy Park Enterprises regrets to announce the end to a brief experiment aimed at combining the popular and irrepressible talk show phenomenon Sadie Cohen with a background beat of powerful and thrilling house music. In fact, our ratings soared during our experiment. Revenue shot up 17.5 percent. Advertisers loved it. Our decision to cancel the experiment in no way reflects any error of management. Rather, it was a raging success reflective of our forward thinking management. In the end, though,

You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! Super delegates. A candidate could win the most votes in the primaries but lose anyway of the superdelegates want someone else! Can you believe that? Oh stop yer sniveling. In my day, the parties chose candidates in smoke-filled backrooms without even pretending the people get a vote. At least this charade gets you out of the house. Gets the blood pumping. I guess.

"Agenda item 14 C, does anyone have any idea what happened in Game of Thrones?"

Trappist talk show.

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Trekfan" in Dallas, you're on. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?! House of Java Cybercafe. I've been trying to get my wife to watch sci-fi with me. But she's so closed-minded about it. Everything that I find so profound and beautiful about it, she finds silly. Stop trying to change your wife into a Xerox copy of yourself! Right now your relationship is based on the kind of incompatibility that leads to resentment, recrimination and bickering. Enjoy that. You'd make a great Kl

'We've got a 50 inch hd lcd 3d t.v with 200 channels and there's nothing on.'

Rush Limbaugh

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

"Come on now answer the question, I want something that can be taken out of context and make the show go viral on twitter."

Franz Kafka does stand-up...

"Well, now we know what Letterman's doing, what are we doing?"

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I neglected to talk over you."

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

'The way I see it, with all the talk shows out there, nobody needs a wife!'