Talk Shows Gifts

Trappist talk show.

The Freudian Slip Shop.

'Do you think we need more conversation in our relationship?'

'In the few minutes remaining, Dr. Nemo, could you briefly give us some idea what you've been talking about for the last hour?'

"When 'Hey Diddle Diddle' came along, we jumped at the chance to work together."

'Letter carriers and dogs living together...next on Springer...'

'He's got a lot of talent and everything, but I just don't think he's cut out for talk radio.'

'...my next guest has been described as an extrovert..a hell raiser..a man of many suprises...'

Information / Way To Much Information

'What TV show do frog princes go on ...?...'

'He's a Jerry Springer Spaniel.'

'The Supreme Court today upheld a lower court ruling, only to have it overturned by Oprah!'

Dr.Phil McGraw

'Frankly, that just sounds like the sort of thing a cat would say.'

'Yes, it's a very interesting show, but we really need to talk about all the time you waste watching it - perhaps during the next commercial break.'

'You climbed all the way up here, just to ask about the meaning of life?.. You could have got that from 'The Oprah Winfrey show'!'

"Hello! Go ahead, Syracuse, New York."

'Actually, I haven't written it yet, I'm doing the promotional tour first, to see if being an author is the right career move for me!'

Sarah Palin 'Going Rogue'.

"No - I'm not listening to my radio!"

TALK-SHOW STUDIO, 'We're on a ten-second delay in case a caller says something that makes sense.'

Elections

"People who watched 'Donahue'-next on 'Geraldo'!"

'OK, you want to sue your parents because they raised you in a healthy, happy and loving environment, thereby ruining your chances for ever appearing on 'Oprah.' Correct so far?'

'This is a talk show, buddy -- put the gun down!'

Sally Jessy Raphael

"How's life changed since you went viral?"

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I neglected to talk over you."

"I give it two thumbs up!" "You give everything two thumbs up!" The Iggy Iguanodon Show

Welcome to the Sadie Cohen radio hour. Sometimes it's nice to turn on your radio and hear people talk about stuff that's not so divisive and controversial. For instance, today we'll be talking about itsy bitsy fluffy puppy dogs

Did you hear Sadie's show today. DID I. My favorite part was when she made that construction worker who called in cry. She's a rare talent. It's amazing how she can peel grown men and women like an onion, find what makes them tick and squash it like a bug. Is she still around? Smile and assume she is, if you know what's good for you. Sadie sure topped herself today.

You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! The price of oil is plummeting. So why're all my stocks doing so badly? I own 500 shares of Big-Box-Store Inc., 300 of Useless-Crudco, and 400 of Mindless-Consumerism Conglomerated. With gas prices so low, people have a lot more money to blow on consumer goods, so the market should be booming! I don't get it! First of all, oil is falling because there's too much supply. And having too much gas is never a good thing. Wait ... this isn't "Money Talk"?

Items From the Jay Leno Fan Club

"They're going through a bitter marriage."

"I like my late-night humor unfunny."