Dinner Table Satirist Gifts

'I love these intimate dinners. Don't you?'

'Your French dip, sir.'

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

'If you mean Janet, she works the late shift.'

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

"Waiter! - this soup tastes funny!"

'I didn't find a finger in my chili!'

'Waiter, is it raining?' ] 'Sorry, not my table.'

'Do you happen to have a scratch-and-sniff menu?'

"Chicken 'Laissez-faire'?"

Wegovy diet drug

"Our steaks are unusually tough tonight."

Your Dinner is in the Tin

'Instead of one of our dishes you want to eat me? Just a minute, sir.. I've go to ask the manager.'

'I'm glad I don't like spinach because if I liked it I'd eat it and I hate the stuff!'

"Barkeeper! More chick-peas!"

'How many times have I told you not to talk with your mouth full?'

'Freezer is on the blink.'

"A Mister 'Ty Gurr' wants to reserve a table next to our fattest customer."

The PARTISAN CAFE: "For or against section?"

"Soup of the day? Mumbo Jumbo Gumbo."

'Tartar sauce?! Heaven no. My dentist would kill me.'

"I'm not saying it's undercooked, dear, but I've seen fish hurt worse than this jump off the hook."

'Everyone loves Christmas...except the turkey!'

"We're gonna need a bigger gravy boat!"

"... And would sir like a straw with that?"

'There'll be a short delay, sir -- your businessman's lunch is under investigation.'

'If I'm not mistaken; aren't these the left-overs from last night's left-overs, from...'

"Ryan, are you giving your vegetables to the Roomba again?"

"Darling, can you pass me the salt and the pepper spray?"