Dating Disaster Fans Pillows

'Yes, Jeff. I'm sure I will see you again. Probably on the FBI's 'most wanted' list!'

On the brink.

'Big date tonight, but I've just shed an antler: Do you have superglue?'

"I'm really gonna miss Rome."

Aliens watch the earth explode

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

Find out who has the Licensing Rights to Armegeddon.

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

Fire starts at magic show while audience participant is left behind.

'Dude, I got the rest of the day off, so I'll be able to go riding after all!'

'There goes the neighbourhood.'

"I told you not to hand in that evaluation form until after we'd docked!"

"Honey, relax - I brought the big umbrella."

The Biggest Forest Fire Starter

'Run for your lives... it's a Twistie!'

"And how many stacks were there yesterday? Quit checking your notes"

"Be realistic, how can lumps of rock zooming around in space affect our lives down here?"

'That sure was a disaster of a first date!'

"I knew I should've swiped left."

Polly's 217 Years' Birthday Party was very Successful until Mrs. Wilson lit the Birthday Cake

Extraterrestrial kicks rocks on his planet, which turn into meteors crashing to earth.

Colin had heard that women liked honesty in men.

Goldfish Insurance: " We must insure against a deluge of BIBLICAL proportions. . ."

'It was disgusting, Sheila...Our first date, and he pulls out his endpin!'

"Ladies and gentlemen, please direct your attention to the safety presentation. It's the only way you'll know the difference between the harmless scarlet kingsnake and the deadly Eastern coral snake."

"Don't panic - just a temporary crash floe problem."

"Your blind dates is at the bar - I'll upgrade you to a table by the getaway door."

'My Mother makes me wear this - It's my name and address in case I get lost.'

'Think he's trying to tell us something?'

Rudy, I went out on a date last night. It was a miserable failure. Sorry. As my employee, you've seen me day in and day out. You know me better than anyone. Rudy, do I, your boss and sole source of income, have some personality flaw? Or did the fault lie with my date. Feel free to speak candidly. Mother.

"I walked up to this hot girl with two drinks in my hands, and she turned to me, smiled and said, are you lost, Grandpa? The toilets are back there."

Typical Monday

"When you said on your profile you are 'loyal and affectionate' I expected something a little different."

Floods leave man and ghost stranded.

"Now showing!"