Dating Mishap Fan Pillows

OK, I'm a little shallow, but I'm meaningful.

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"She's just being Koi."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

"I never understand what you're trying to say."

Man is injured transporting cacti.

'Let me start off by saying this: I called you in here by mistake, and now I want you to leave.'

"Call the inspector and tell him to cancel today, that something has come up."

'Holy shit!'

'Last month's meeting ended on a high note. Primarily because a disgruntled investor kicked our CEO in the groin.'

Poodle gets stuck in the elevator.

"The date was a disaster: he grew up with pirates you see, so I couldn't understand half of what he was saying..."

'Next time make sure it's the bath plug before you pull it out.'

"Damn. The minute I eat a stink bug, in walks Mr. Wonderful!..."

'Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.'

'Maybe now you'll admit that we're lost!?'

Duncan made a real faux pas when he heard that his blind date was expecting a baby.

"Ted! It's fallen down! Ted!"

Then, one day, Bucky's love of practical jokes got him into real trouble.

'Yup, I think mine are broke too.'

Dog Show: 'Bad news Muffy - you're being disqualified on a technicality.'

Campanology wasn't really Gregory's thing!

"Can you explain to me again how you keep sustaining this eye injury in an orchestra?"

"I don't like sweetcorn".

"No, I can't come out tonight, Darren. I'm washing my hair."

A young man creating an awkward silence

'It's been an interesting evening. Do you mind if I use your ledge for a minute?'

"I always thought you'd look great, covered in spiders."

Jenny has a mid-lithe crisis.

Trumpet player punctures a cheek.

Golf Cart Punctures