Dating Mishap Fan Gifts

OK, I'm a little shallow, but I'm meaningful.

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"She's just being Koi."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."

Man is injured transporting cacti.

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

"I never understand what you're trying to say."

'Let me start off by saying this: I called you in here by mistake, and now I want you to leave.'

"Call the inspector and tell him to cancel today, that something has come up."

'Holy shit!'

Gimme a hot chocolate. On the rocks. Straight. Lady troubles? And how. Old Mr. Mort told me if I wanted to appeal to the ladies, I should watch some old black and white movies and do what those guys do. So I started jogging downstairs sideways like Cary Grant. I said "see!" after every sentence like James Cagney. I ran in place and yelled "whoop-whoop-whoop!" like Curly. All the girls loved it. But now I have four playdates scheduled at the same time! Not at all where I thought that was going.

"Damn. The minute I eat a stink bug, in walks Mr. Wonderful!..."

'Next time make sure it's the bath plug before you pull it out.'

"The date was a disaster: he grew up with pirates you see, so I couldn't understand half of what he was saying..."

'Last month's meeting ended on a high note. Primarily because a disgruntled investor kicked our CEO in the groin.'

Poodle gets stuck in the elevator.

'Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.'

Then, one day, Bucky's love of practical jokes got him into real trouble.

"Ted! It's fallen down! Ted!"

Duncan made a real faux pas when he heard that his blind date was expecting a baby.

'Maybe now you'll admit that we're lost!?'

Dog Show: 'Bad news Muffy - you're being disqualified on a technicality.'

'Yup, I think mine are broke too.'

Campanology wasn't really Gregory's thing!

"Can you explain to me again how you keep sustaining this eye injury in an orchestra?"

"I always thought you'd look great, covered in spiders."

'It's been an interesting evening. Do you mind if I use your ledge for a minute?'

"No, I can't come out tonight, Darren. I'm washing my hair."

"I don't like sweetcorn".

A young man creating an awkward silence

Jenny has a mid-lithe crisis.

Falling rocks! It does not!

"Sorry, I haven't had chance to watch much TV since I went to turn down the radio, tripped over a magazine and a framed poster fell on my head..."