Dating Disaster Fan Pillows

We met in a police line-up!

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

A young man creating an awkward silence

On the brink.

'Big date tonight, but I've just shed an antler: Do you have superglue?'

"I'm really gonna miss Rome."

Aliens watch the earth explode

Find out who has the Licensing Rights to Armegeddon.

"I never understand what you're trying to say."

Fire starts at magic show while audience participant is left behind.

Joe Hundredaire

'Run for your lives... it's a Twistie!'

'There goes the neighbourhood.'

"Honey, relax - I brought the big umbrella."

'Dude, I got the rest of the day off, so I'll be able to go riding after all!'

"And how many stacks were there yesterday? Quit checking your notes"

"Be realistic, how can lumps of rock zooming around in space affect our lives down here?"

'That sure was a disaster of a first date!'

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

Polly's 217 Years' Birthday Party was very Successful until Mrs. Wilson lit the Birthday Cake

Colin had heard that women liked honesty in men.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please direct your attention to the safety presentation. It's the only way you'll know the difference between the harmless scarlet kingsnake and the deadly Eastern coral snake."

Extraterrestrial kicks rocks on his planet, which turn into meteors crashing to earth.

The Don't-Quit-Your-Day-Job Comedic Revue

"Don't panic - just a temporary crash floe problem."

"Your blind dates is at the bar - I'll upgrade you to a table by the getaway door."

"Now showing!"

Typical Monday

Floods leave man and ghost stranded.

"My love for you knows no bounds, Trish."

'Think he's trying to tell us something?'

'My Mother makes me wear this - It's my name and address in case I get lost.'

"I walked up to this hot girl with two drinks in my hands, and she turned to me, smiled and said, are you lost, Grandpa? The toilets are back there."

Embarrassing moments in asteroid tracking.

'Hey, do you sell flood insurance?'