Dating Disaster Expert Pillows

"My love for you knows no bounds, Trish."

'Big date tonight, but I've just shed an antler: Do you have superglue?'

Boyfriend of the Month.

The Stages of Wine

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

'Standing on tiptoe waving your claw may attract a crab, but it certainly doesn't woo me.'

"I've had my eye on you for some time"

"Not so fast, Casanova! I want to get to know a man and his intentions better before I allow him to accompany me to the cinema!"

'Wow!... Look at the personality on her!'

Tom prepares for his hot date.

"I knew I should've swiped left."

Colin had heard that women liked honesty in men.

'Well thank you Igor!! I spend all night making small talk with the blonde and Mr. googly eyes has to show up!!'

'It was disgusting, Sheila...Our first date, and he pulls out his endpin!'

"I'm a simple man, really."

"Your blind dates is at the bar - I'll upgrade you to a table by the getaway door."

Babe magnet

'No thanks! Playing doctor is how my folks ended up getting married.'

He couldn't put his finger on it but something told Colin the date wasn't going well.

"I walked up to this hot girl with two drinks in my hands, and she turned to me, smiled and said, are you lost, Grandpa? The toilets are back there."

"When you said on your profile you are 'loyal and affectionate' I expected something a little different."

"My name is Adam and your name is Eve and that I think is a good starting point for a relationship between us!"

'My Mother makes me wear this - It's my name and address in case I get lost.'

Do you know what girls want?

"I'm still in recovery for my perfectionism."

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

Geek Todd Jones strikes out with his 3000th wiman to take over third place on the all time geek strikeout list.

'Hand me your issue of esquire. I have a hot date.'

Tom suspected the date wasn't going as well as he'd hoped when she asked for the Emergency exit.

"How come I always pick the bastards?"

'I went out with that new hunk in Sales last night. Great closer!'

Twenty thousand leagues out of his league

"I'm not single I'm 'between relationships'."