Dating Disaster Survivors Pillows

The date was going well until Colin decided to impress her by burping Queen's Greatest Hits.

Smelly date.

"Everything was going well with her online date. . . except EVERYTHING!"

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

"I knew I should've swiped left."

'Let me just run through the offside rule.'

Colin had heard that women liked honesty in men.

'It was disgusting, Sheila...Our first date, and he pulls out his endpin!'

"Your blind dates is at the bar - I'll upgrade you to a table by the getaway door."

"My love for you knows no bounds, Trish."

"When you said on your profile you are 'loyal and affectionate' I expected something a little different."

He couldn't put his finger on it but something told Colin the date wasn't going well.

"You had me at hell..."

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

"Sure you remember me. I'm the guy who collapsed here last night... right in front of your... and had to be rushed to the hospital."

Tom suspected the date wasn't going as well as he'd hoped when she asked for the Emergency exit.

Geek Todd Jones strikes out with his 3000th wiman to take over third place on the all time geek strikeout list.

"How come I always pick the bastards?"

"It's not you, Larry. I'm just tired of dating 'low hanging fruit'. "

"Actually, in my younger days, I was really a Wildman."

"He was a lousy date!"

"I see you've never dated a clairvoyant before."

'So, your place, or my mother's.'

"But on the plus side, you won't have to pick up the check."

"A MacArthur, the lecture circuit, and thou!"

'Talk about a disastrous blind date: A quick look at her teeth told me she was a lot older than she said...'

'Reading between the lines Colin began to suspect that a second date was unlikely!'

'That's it, no more blind dates for me.'

'This should teach you never to ask Naomi Campbell out on a date.'

"Just for future reference, save your private heartache for the third or fourth date."

"Don't get me wrong – I'm pro crazy bitches."