Dating Disaster Sympathizer Pillows

"A MacArthur, the lecture circuit, and thou!"

Boston Marathon: The First Responders.

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"I knew I should've swiped left."

'It was disgusting, Sheila...Our first date, and he pulls out his endpin!'

Colin had heard that women liked honesty in men.

'I hear Oog gave up inventing.'

"What are you crying about? You're the one who wins all the awards."

"Your blind dates is at the bar - I'll upgrade you to a table by the getaway door."

U.S. Bread Basket.

He couldn't put his finger on it but something told Colin the date wasn't going well.

'My Mother makes me wear this - It's my name and address in case I get lost.'

"I walked up to this hot girl with two drinks in my hands, and she turned to me, smiled and said, are you lost, Grandpa? The toilets are back there."

"My love for you knows no bounds, Trish."

"When you said on your profile you are 'loyal and affectionate' I expected something a little different."

"How come I always pick the bastards?"

Tom suspected the date wasn't going as well as he'd hoped when she asked for the Emergency exit.

Geek Todd Jones strikes out with his 3000th wiman to take over third place on the all time geek strikeout list.

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

'Hand me your issue of esquire. I have a hot date.'

A young man creating an awkward silence

Twenty thousand leagues out of his league

"Actually, in my younger days, I was really a Wildman."

'So, your place, or my mother's.'

"I see you've never dated a clairvoyant before."

'Talk about a disastrous blind date: A quick look at her teeth told me she was a lot older than she said...'

'Reading between the lines Colin began to suspect that a second date was unlikely!'

"He was a lousy date!"

"Public display of rejection"

'This should teach you never to ask Naomi Campbell out on a date.'

"Don't get me wrong – I'm pro crazy bitches."

"Just for future reference, save your private heartache for the third or fourth date."