Dating Disaster Sympathizer Pillows

"A MacArthur, the lecture circuit, and thou!"

Boston Marathon: The First Responders.

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"I knew I should've swiped left."

"What are you crying about? You're the one who wins all the awards."

Colin had heard that women liked honesty in men.

'It was disgusting, Sheila...Our first date, and he pulls out his endpin!'

'I hear Oog gave up inventing.'

"Your blind dates is at the bar - I'll upgrade you to a table by the getaway door."

"I walked up to this hot girl with two drinks in my hands, and she turned to me, smiled and said, are you lost, Grandpa? The toilets are back there."

'My Mother makes me wear this - It's my name and address in case I get lost.'

Rudy, I went out on a date last night. It was a miserable failure. Sorry. As my employee, you've seen me day in and day out. You know me better than anyone. Rudy, do I, your boss and sole source of income, have some personality flaw? Or did the fault lie with my date. Feel free to speak candidly. Mother.

U.S. Bread Basket.

"When you said on your profile you are 'loyal and affectionate' I expected something a little different."

"My love for you knows no bounds, Trish."

He couldn't put his finger on it but something told Colin the date wasn't going well.

Geek Todd Jones strikes out with his 3000th wiman to take over third place on the all time geek strikeout list.

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

'Hand me your issue of esquire. I have a hot date.'

"How come I always pick the bastards?"

Tom suspected the date wasn't going as well as he'd hoped when she asked for the Emergency exit.

But I told you I just wanted to be friends. Sue. Ed.

"He was a lousy date!"

"Public display of rejection"

'So, your place, or my mother's.'

"I see you've never dated a clairvoyant before."

A young man creating an awkward silence

'Reading between the lines Colin began to suspect that a second date was unlikely!'

'Talk about a disastrous blind date: A quick look at her teeth told me she was a lot older than she said...'

"Actually, in my younger days, I was really a Wildman."

Twenty thousand leagues out of his league

'This should teach you never to ask Naomi Campbell out on a date.'

Quickly realizing that her blind date was a dork, Amy began chewing on her emergency supply of garlic cloves.

"Just for future reference, save your private heartache for the third or fourth date."