Dating Disaster Explorer Pillows

Don't look down, just keep making eye contact...

"Why don't you move over here, Mr. Lowery, where you'll be closer to everything."

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"It's funny how people suddenly come out of the woodwork when they know you're taken."

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

"Yee yee hee hee how how yip yip."

"I knew I should've swiped left."

'But enough about me... let's talk about you. Do you prefer plain or ribbed condoms?'

Colin had heard that women liked honesty in men.

Your numerous prescriptions really have improved my love life. I'm dating my pharmacist.

'It was disgusting, Sheila...Our first date, and he pulls out his endpin!'

'Yes, this is my first time at speed dating. Is it that obvious?'

"Your blind dates is at the bar - I'll upgrade you to a table by the getaway door."

'....in fact, I don't even know why Mrs. Goldberg put us together.'

'Our relationship is getting serious. He's taking me to meet his doctor.'

"My love for you knows no bounds, Trish."

"When you said on your profile you are 'loyal and affectionate' I expected something a little different."

'I'll tell you a joke; I lied about the GSOH!'

"I walked up to this hot girl with two drinks in my hands, and she turned to me, smiled and said, are you lost, Grandpa? The toilets are back there."

'My Mother makes me wear this - It's my name and address in case I get lost.'

He couldn't put his finger on it but something told Colin the date wasn't going well.

"Before this goes any farther, you should know that I have kids, and I'm old, and I live in a shoe."

"How many sex partners have you had?"

The Adventures of Morton :This has been my best first date ever...Sooo, what about our plans for the future? YOu know, marriage, kids?...Tell me if I move too fast, okay?

Geek Todd Jones strikes out with his 3000th wiman to take over third place on the all time geek strikeout list.

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

'Hand me your issue of esquire. I have a hot date.'

"How come I always pick the bastards?"

'It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is he died laughing before her could tell anybody.'