Dating Disaster Collector Pillows

'Reading between the lines Colin began to suspect that a second date was unlikely!'

"First date hairball... awkward."

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

"I knew I should've swiped left."

Colin had heard that women liked honesty in men.

'It was disgusting, Sheila...Our first date, and he pulls out his endpin!'

"Your blind dates is at the bar - I'll upgrade you to a table by the getaway door."

He couldn't put his finger on it but something told Colin the date wasn't going well.

"When you said on your profile you are 'loyal and affectionate' I expected something a little different."

"I walked up to this hot girl with two drinks in my hands, and she turned to me, smiled and said, are you lost, Grandpa? The toilets are back there."

"My love for you knows no bounds, Trish."

'My Mother makes me wear this - It's my name and address in case I get lost.'

"How come I always pick the bastards?"

'Hand me your issue of esquire. I have a hot date.'

Tom suspected the date wasn't going as well as he'd hoped when she asked for the Emergency exit.

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

Geek Todd Jones strikes out with his 3000th wiman to take over third place on the all time geek strikeout list.

Twenty thousand leagues out of his league

"Public display of rejection"

Personal ad: 'Cosa seeking Nostra.'

"He was a lousy date!"

"Rudy, I went out on a date last night. It was a miserable failure." "Sorry." "As my employee, you've seen me day in and day out. You know me better than anyone." "Rudy, do I, your boss and sole source of income, have some personality flaw?" "Or did the fault lie entirely with my date?" "Feel free to speak candidly." "Mother."

'So, your place, or my mother's.'

"I see you've never dated a clairvoyant before."

A young man creating an awkward silence

"A MacArthur, the lecture circuit, and thou!"

'Talk about a disastrous blind date: A quick look at her teeth told me she was a lot older than she said...'

"Actually, in my younger days, I was really a Wildman."

'This should teach you never to ask Naomi Campbell out on a date.'

Can't that dating service ever get it right?

"Just for future reference, save your private heartache for the third or fourth date."

"Don't get me wrong – I'm pro crazy bitches."

It was to be their first, and last date.