Cyber Scribbler Gifts

'My blog has its own blog.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Replacement Bus Spotters.

'Anorak anoraks'.

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Now that I've written the book, could you put in a good word with the sales team's muse?

Will Self deprecation

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

'Hurry up, I'm dying to use the blog'

Musical Prodigy

Modern Nursery Rhymes

Anna Burns

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

Screenwriters, Inc. Send this revised script to Rupert Murdoch! Right! I'll fax the fix to Fox!

Writer’s Corner

"Bible studies class? We're still writing it."

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

"Would it hurt you to take two minutes from writing code to write your grandmother?"

A pen spewing letters

"It's the worst case of writer's block Sidney has ever had. He hasn't put a word on the page since fifth grade!"

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'

Recycling Station: Manuscripts.

"Careful - it's full of lies."

Kate Atkinson

"It took me 4 years to finish my book!"

"We have pills for some of that."