Creative Scribblers Gifts

Scribbling Rivalry.

Anna Burns

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

Bird Watching with Binoculars

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

Hans Holbein

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Now that I've written the book, could you put in a good word with the sales team's muse?

Will Self deprecation

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

'Honestly, I didn't mean any of those things I wrote about you in my diary last night!'

How to create a brilliant cartoon

Modern Nursery Rhymes

Writer’s Corner

Screenwriters, Inc. Send this revised script to Rupert Murdoch! Right! I'll fax the fix to Fox!

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

A pen spewing letters

"It's the worst case of writer's block Sidney has ever had. He hasn't put a word on the page since fifth grade!"

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'

'I can't read a word of this essay of yours. Excellent work.'

Recycling Station: Manuscripts.

What do you think of my idea for non-violent protests of Arizona's onerous immigration laws? Outdated. But - This is the era of MMA - Martial Arts Brawls, pay-per-view battles to submission. If you're mad at Arizona, challenge it to a cage match until one of the other of you breaks your forearm!!! Know your audience. I'll pay $16 to watch you wrestle Arizona's governor.

"We have pills for some of that."

Kate Atkinson