Young Scribblers Gifts

'I think he was born to be a doctor. Nobody can read anything he writes!'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Will Self deprecation

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

'He's just come back from a 'stress management' course.'

Writer’s Corner

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

A pen spewing letters

"It's the worst case of writer's block Sidney has ever had. He hasn't put a word on the page since fifth grade!"

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'

"Baldo, it's great that you want to draw editorial cartoons for the school paper. But effective cartoons comment on important issues. They are not a forum for your personal agenda."

'I can't read a word of this essay of yours. Excellent work.'

Recycling Station: Manuscripts.

"We have pills for some of that."

John Bolton

"It took me 4 years to finish my book!"

Kate Atkinson

False joviality.

'It looks like the baby drew an organizational chart of our family!'