Young Scribbler Gifts

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

'Lately you seem to find fault in everything I do.'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

I'm currently working on my autobiography. Would you care to help make page 327 interesting?

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Will Self deprecation

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

'Are you sure this is the only way to get rid of your writers block?'

Anna Burns

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

'He's just come back from a 'stress management' course.'

Screenwriters, Inc. Send this revised script to Rupert Murdoch! Right! I'll fax the fix to Fox!

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

"Bible studies class? We're still writing it."

Writer's Block

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'

A pen spewing letters

"It's an unfinished Wordle."

"Baldo, it's great that you want to draw editorial cartoons for the school paper. But effective cartoons comment on important issues. They are not a forum for your personal agenda."

Recycling Station: Manuscripts.

Must be old-timers – You don't see cursive anymore.

"It took me 4 years to finish my book!"

John Bolton

False joviality.

Monk with a crucifix pen.

Scribbling Rivalry.

"I imagine the men who wrote the Bible giggled every time they wrote 'I am the lord'."

Why written forms of expression weren't developed sooner.

"It's from your student loan office."

A Winter's Day by Mary Lou Fleckner

"But I have a hard time calling this real writing."

'Fifty-seven authors, and neither one of us was included.'

"Before I went on antidepressants I had a better sense of how mediocre my writing was."