Solitary Scribbler Gifts

Day 11. Still can't tell if I'm the last human left alive after the apocalypse, or if it's just that no one is getting back to me.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

'Anorak anoraks'.

Replacement Bus Spotters.

I'm currently working on my autobiography. Would you care to help make page 327 interesting?

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

Shakespeare working on his "author's bio"

Never write a sonnet on an empty stomach

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

Colin kept a notebook by his bed to write down any ideas he had during the night... "Genulph hyu donkey slapperthwaite."

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Now that I've written the book, could you put in a good word with the sales team's muse?

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

Will Self deprecation

'Are you sure this is the only way to get rid of your writers block?'

'Honestly, I didn't mean any of those things I wrote about you in my diary last night!'

Writer’s Corner

'He's just come back from a 'stress management' course.'

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

Screenwriters, Inc. Send this revised script to Rupert Murdoch! Right! I'll fax the fix to Fox!

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

"Bible studies class? We're still writing it."

"I'm writing a novel, but it's hard to find alone time."

Writer's Block

"Baldo, it's great that you want to draw editorial cartoons for the school paper. But effective cartoons comment on important issues. They are not a forum for your personal agenda."

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'

A pen spewing letters

"It's the worst case of writer's block Sidney has ever had. He hasn't put a word on the page since fifth grade!"

"It's an unfinished Wordle."