Solo Scribe Gifts

"I'm writing a novel, but it's hard to find alone time."

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

Monks sitting at a row of computers typing up old-fashioned looking manuscripts.

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

Waiting Room For Godot.

"Tests! That's one thing I don't like about the end of school. I can't believe it! You're not finished studying, either?"

'Are you sure this is the only way to get rid of your writers block?'

"Hi...Marvin Ramage - composer/ arranger/ musician author and rich."

'We have the ideas for product placement and now all we need is the script.'

Tall tales, short stories

'Sorry, your resume isn't funny enough.'

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

500 pages and one masterpiece later, Stephan makes a horrifying discovery.

'It's not his name - It's what he does all the time.'

"He calls it the eBible."

Writers strike.

Pencil Rubber

'Your story is extremely sexist, dubious and dumb, the characters are one-dimensional and primitive. In other words - you wrote a bestseller, mister!'

"Buying stuff online has rekindled Sean's literary ambitions. They're always asking for customer reviews."

Plato's Republic as it was written and as it would have been written if Plato's academy had invested in a good word processor,

"Philosopical argument needs an elephant in the room. Can you handle it, sweetie?"

"Steve, trust me, this has nothing to do with you being self-published."

"The most useful course I've ever done was the "Creative Writing" course I did as a kid: It's been invaluable in writing Grant Applications..."