Romantic Scribe Gifts

'Are you sure this is the only way to get rid of your writers block?'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

I think you're ace

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

Noel Coward.

I'm currently working on my autobiography. Would you care to help make page 327 interesting?

I love you.

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

'Interesting article in Nature this week - apparently love's not a wave, it's a particle.'

Intellectual Foreplay...

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

'You use the former when wooing your beloved and the latter during negotiations with your divorce lawyers.'

"When you said you like to experiment in the bedroom..."

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"You sure are ringin' my bell, Baby!"

"Regarding your letter of next Monday ... "

Doctcom

Dame Edna Sitwell

"Tests! That's one thing I don't like about the end of school. I can't believe it! You're not finished studying, either?"

"The couple will now exchange vows they wrote themselves, because I guess mine weren't good enough, but, whatever, let's see what you've got."

'I still write all my novels longhand.'

The Language of Love

Love, death and grammar.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

'I feel obligated to tell you that this offer may expire without prior written notice.'

"I would take out the curse words, but otherwise I think it's fine."

"If you quote Rilke again, I'm just going to have to take my bra off!"

'You've broken down my immune system!'

Rhode Island School of Desire

Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.

Avoid texting valentine's messages

"Well they say everyone has a book in them."

Monk on PC.