Review Scribe Gifts

"Buying stuff online has rekindled Sean's literary ambitions. They're always asking for customer reviews."

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

"I'm writing a memoir. It's mostly recipes."

Monks sitting at a row of computers typing up old-fashioned looking manuscripts.

Waiting Room For Godot.

"I'm not a food critic I'm a literary critic and I've found the prose on your menu to be second-rate."

"Here it is - my novel. I'll be interested to hear your compliments."

"Tests! That's one thing I don't like about the end of school. I can't believe it! You're not finished studying, either?"

'Hurry up, I'm dying to use the blog'

'It's the new directive from Brussels. We're to steal from everybody and give directly to the banks.'

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

'We have the ideas for product placement and now all we need is the script.'

Writers Block: "Day 24 and still no typewriter!"

"Johnson's our head of forecasting, he alos works part-time as a successful science fiction writer."

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

Tall tales, short stories

"I'm writing a novel, but it's hard to find alone time."

'Sorry, your resume isn't funny enough.'

What the Person Sitting Next to You at Starbucks is 'Working On'

Pencil Rubber

'It's not his name - It's what he does all the time.'

"He calls it the eBible."

Trump and social media

'Your story is extremely sexist, dubious and dumb, the characters are one-dimensional and primitive. In other words - you wrote a bestseller, mister!'

"Philosopical argument needs an elephant in the room. Can you handle it, sweetie?"