Story Scribes Gifts

'It's not his name - It's what he does all the time.'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

"Jose Rivera, who wrote the screenplay for 'The Motorcycle Diaries,' is the first Puerto Rican screenwriter to be nominated for an Oscar. He's known for incorporating his life experiences into his award-winning writing."

Alexander Pope

"I'm not a food critic I'm a literary critic and I've found the prose on your menu to be second-rate."

Waiting Room For Godot.

Will Self deprecation

"So basically, it's an autobiomeoirography!"

'It's the new directive from Brussels. We're to steal from everybody and give directly to the banks.'

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

'We have the ideas for product placement and now all we need is the script.'

"His prose, however, is very elegant."

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

Woman and books.

Tall tales, short stories

'Sorry, your resume isn't funny enough.'

No caption. (Rowers carry an oar in four briefcases).

"I'm writing a novel, but it's hard to find alone time."

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

What the Person Sitting Next to You at Starbucks is 'Working On'

'Your story is extremely sexist, dubious and dumb, the characters are one-dimensional and primitive. In other words - you wrote a bestseller, mister!'

'Precise, analytical and beautifully reasoned address. Now condense it down to a snappy sports metaphor.'

Trump and social media

Writers strike.

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'

Which useless activity are you doing on your electronic pacifier right now? My what? Your electronic pacifier. Your soother. Your binky. My iPhone is not a "binky". It's an indispensable tool, essential to keeping the busy, modern life running like a well-oiled machine. You can't stand to experience a single moment devoid of activity. Solitude makes you agitated, lonely, bored or insecure. Anytime you feel bad, you reach for your phone. It's your binky. My Twitter followers agree with me that yo