Story Scribe Gifts

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

I should be a writer when I grow up...

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

Will Self deprecation

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

"Jose Rivera, who wrote the screenplay for 'The Motorcycle Diaries,' is the first Puerto Rican screenwriter to be nominated for an Oscar. He's known for incorporating his life experiences into his award-winning writing."

Waiting Room For Godot.

"So basically, it's an autobiomeoirography!"

'We have the ideas for product placement and now all we need is the script.'

"I'm writing a novel, but it's hard to find alone time."

Tall tales, short stories

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

"Johnson's our head of forecasting, he alos works part-time as a successful science fiction writer."

'Sorry, your resume isn't funny enough.'

Woman and books.

What the Person Sitting Next to You at Starbucks is 'Working On'

'I'll publish it if you include a character obviously based on me.'

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'

Pencil Rubber

Trump and social media

'It's not his name - It's what he does all the time.'

'Your story is extremely sexist, dubious and dumb, the characters are one-dimensional and primitive. In other words - you wrote a bestseller, mister!'

Like Buttons

Which useless activity are you doing on your electronic pacifier right now? My what? Your electronic pacifier. Your soother. Your binky. My iPhone is not a "binky". It's an indispensable tool, essential to keeping the busy, modern life running like a well-oiled machine. You can't stand to experience a single moment devoid of activity. Solitude makes you agitated, lonely, bored or insecure. Anytime you feel bad, you reach for your phone. It's your binky. My Twitter followers agree with me that yo

"It took me 4 years to finish my book!"

"Philosopical argument needs an elephant in the room. Can you handle it, sweetie?"