Cyber Scribe Gifts

'Hurry up, I'm dying to use the blog'

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

Monks sitting at a row of computers typing up old-fashioned looking manuscripts.

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

Writer breaks in new electric typewriter.

Waiting Room For Godot.

"Here it is - my novel. I'll be interested to hear your compliments."

"Tests! That's one thing I don't like about the end of school. I can't believe it! You're not finished studying, either?"

'We have the ideas for product placement and now all we need is the script.'

"Johnson's our head of forecasting, he alos works part-time as a successful science fiction writer."

'Sorry, your resume isn't funny enough.'

Trump and social media

Pencil Rubber

"First, let me begin by admitting that the unexpected and rather brazen theft of our teleprompter has left me somewhat speechless."

Writers strike.

'Your story is extremely sexist, dubious and dumb, the characters are one-dimensional and primitive. In other words - you wrote a bestseller, mister!'

"He calls it the eBible."

Plato's Republic as it was written and as it would have been written if Plato's academy had invested in a good word processor,

"Buying stuff online has rekindled Sean's literary ambitions. They're always asking for customer reviews."

"Philosopical argument needs an elephant in the room. Can you handle it, sweetie?"

Chicken soup for the bloggers soul.

'My blog has its own blog.'

"Steve, trust me, this has nothing to do with you being self-published."