Secret Scribe Gifts

Dear diary, I have to make this quick. I think my blog is onto us.

I should be a writer when I grow up...

$1: Family Secrets

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

"Regarding your letter of next Monday ... "

Waiting Room For Godot.

"Jose Rivera, who wrote the screenplay for 'The Motorcycle Diaries,' is the first Puerto Rican screenwriter to be nominated for an Oscar. He's known for incorporating his life experiences into his award-winning writing."

"Here it is - my novel. I'll be interested to hear your compliments."

'Hurry up, I'm dying to use the blog'

Computer literate Monk

'We have the ideas for product placement and now all we need is the script.'

Modern publishing.

'Sorry, your resume isn't funny enough.'

"Listen, you'll take another break after Deuteronomy and I'll make you some chicken noodle soup."

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

TV announcement: 'The Consumer Product Safety Commission today announced the recall of all E-Z Reclino-Mat chairs sold between ...'

"I would take out the curse words, but otherwise I think it's fine."

500 pages and one masterpiece later, Stephan makes a horrifying discovery.

'Hold the front page, Brother Cuthbert!'

Monk writing the scriptures on a roll

'Your story is extremely sexist, dubious and dumb, the characters are one-dimensional and primitive. In other words - you wrote a bestseller, mister!'

'It's not his name - It's what he does all the time.'

Monk on PC.

Plato's Republic as it was written and as it would have been written if Plato's academy had invested in a good word processor,

"Philosopical argument needs an elephant in the room. Can you handle it, sweetie?"

Julian Assange

'I am the 'fly on the wall' you speak of. What would you like to know?'