Sacred Scribe Gifts

Monk on PC.

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

My old recipes have so many food stains they're practically scratch and sniff.

Waiting Room For Godot.

"Jose Rivera, who wrote the screenplay for 'The Motorcycle Diaries,' is the first Puerto Rican screenwriter to be nominated for an Oscar. He's known for incorporating his life experiences into his award-winning writing."

Church: Open Sundays

"Regarding your letter of next Monday ... "

'Are you sure this is the only way to get rid of your writers block?'

Computer literate Monk

A writer goes sailing.

"Tests! That's one thing I don't like about the end of school. I can't believe it! You're not finished studying, either?"

'We have the ideas for product placement and now all we need is the script.'

"Listen, you'll take another break after Deuteronomy and I'll make you some chicken noodle soup."

'Sorry, your resume isn't funny enough.'

'Last week's sermon was supposed to be about Plagues, but I got the flu.'

And as the sun sets over the hills...

"I would take out the curse words, but otherwise I think it's fine."

500 pages and one masterpiece later, Stephan makes a horrifying discovery.

Monks form copier service.

'One reason I like hanging out with you is you give me so many good ideas for my sermons.'

'Hold the front page, Brother Cuthbert!'

"I just want to thank you for not naming names."

'Your moon is on Saturn. Your sun is on Venus, and your hand is on my thigh!'

Monk writing the scriptures on a roll

'Your story is extremely sexist, dubious and dumb, the characters are one-dimensional and primitive. In other words - you wrote a bestseller, mister!'

"Give it up, Carl. You’ve been dead for six months. You’re not gonna finish the novel."

"Philosopical argument needs an elephant in the room. Can you handle it, sweetie?"

REPENT, 'Hey! -- Go find your own corner!'

Fortune Teller.