Artificial Intelligence Scribe Gifts

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

Monks sitting at a row of computers typing up old-fashioned looking manuscripts.

Waiting Room For Godot.

"I'm not a food critic I'm a literary critic and I've found the prose on your menu to be second-rate."

Writer breaks in new electric typewriter.

"Here it is - my novel. I'll be interested to hear your compliments."

'Hurry up, I'm dying to use the blog'

"Tests! That's one thing I don't like about the end of school. I can't believe it! You're not finished studying, either?"

'It's the new directive from Brussels. We're to steal from everybody and give directly to the banks.'

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

'We have the ideas for product placement and now all we need is the script.'

"Johnson's our head of forecasting, he alos works part-time as a successful science fiction writer."

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

'Sorry, your resume isn't funny enough.'

500 pages and one masterpiece later, Stephan makes a horrifying discovery.

'It's not his name - It's what he does all the time.'

Trump and social media

"I don't usually tell people I'm a writer because I've never actually written anything."

"First, let me begin by admitting that the unexpected and rather brazen theft of our teleprompter has left me somewhat speechless."

"He calls it the eBible."

'Your story is extremely sexist, dubious and dumb, the characters are one-dimensional and primitive. In other words - you wrote a bestseller, mister!'

"Buying stuff online has rekindled Sean's literary ambitions. They're always asking for customer reviews."

Plato's Republic as it was written and as it would have been written if Plato's academy had invested in a good word processor,

"Philosopical argument needs an elephant in the room. Can you handle it, sweetie?"

"I didn't know Don Quixote was a republican."

"Steve, trust me, this has nothing to do with you being self-published."