Sonnet Scribbler Gifts

Never write a sonnet on an empty stomach

Shakespeare working on his "author's bio"

Distinguished Amateurs - The Poet

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

Replacement Bus Spotters.

I'm currently working on my autobiography. Would you care to help make page 327 interesting?

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

Colin kept a notebook by his bed to write down any ideas he had during the night... "Genulph hyu donkey slapperthwaite."

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

Will Self deprecation

Now that I've written the book, could you put in a good word with the sales team's muse?

'Major poets' 'Minor poets' 'Free agents'

'Are you sure this is the only way to get rid of your writers block?'

Screenwriters, Inc. Send this revised script to Rupert Murdoch! Right! I'll fax the fix to Fox!

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

Writer’s Corner

"Bible studies class? We're still writing it."

Writer's Block

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'

Alexander Blok

School of Music. If you need perseverance to be a musician, what's all this I hear about unfinished symphonies?

"It's the worst case of writer's block Sidney has ever had. He hasn't put a word on the page since fifth grade!"

Recycling Station: Manuscripts.

Dear Diary...Royal Diary