Scripture Scribbler Gifts

"Bible studies class? We're still writing it."

"I imagine the men who wrote the Bible giggled every time they wrote 'I am the lord'."

"Why is Borther Benedict still here? I thought we voted excommunicate him!"

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

Replacement Bus Spotters.

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

Shakespeare working on his "author's bio"

Never write a sonnet on an empty stomach

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

Colin kept a notebook by his bed to write down any ideas he had during the night... "Genulph hyu donkey slapperthwaite."

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

Now that I've written the book, could you put in a good word with the sales team's muse?

Will Self deprecation

"Jose Rivera, who wrote the screenplay for 'The Motorcycle Diaries,' is the first Puerto Rican screenwriter to be nominated for an Oscar. He's known for incorporating his life experiences into his award-winning writing."

Waiting Room For Godot.

A monk illuminating a book with quill pen

Computer literate Monk

'We have the ideas for product placement and now all we need is the script.'

Writer’s Corner

Screenwriters, Inc. Send this revised script to Rupert Murdoch! Right! I'll fax the fix to Fox!

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

'He's just come back from a 'stress management' course.'

'Sorry, your resume isn't funny enough.'