Spiritual Scribbler Gifts

Monk with a crucifix pen.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Will Self deprecation

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

"Regarding your letter of next Monday ... "

'Are you sure this is the only way to get rid of your writers block?'

'Honestly, I didn't mean any of those things I wrote about you in my diary last night!'

"Bible studies class? We're still writing it."

"I would take out the curse words, but otherwise I think it's fine."

Writer’s Corner

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

Writer's Block

A pen spewing letters

"It's the worst case of writer's block Sidney has ever had. He hasn't put a word on the page since fifth grade!"

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'

Recycling Station: Manuscripts.

"It took me 4 years to finish my book!"

Kate Atkinson