Creative Scribbler Gifts

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

A pen spewing letters

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

Replacement Bus Spotters.

'Anorak anoraks'.

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

Bird Watching with Binoculars

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

Hans Holbein

Will Self deprecation

Now that I've written the book, could you put in a good word with the sales team's muse?

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

Musical Prodigy

'Honestly, I didn't mean any of those things I wrote about you in my diary last night!'

How to create a brilliant cartoon

Writer’s Corner

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

Anna Burns

Screenwriters, Inc. Send this revised script to Rupert Murdoch! Right! I'll fax the fix to Fox!

"Would it hurt you to take two minutes from writing code to write your grandmother?"

Pencil Rubber

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'

"It's the worst case of writer's block Sidney has ever had. He hasn't put a word on the page since fifth grade!"

Recycling Station: Manuscripts.

Kate Atkinson