Script Scribbler Gifts

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

Recycling Station: Manuscripts.

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

Screenwriters, Inc. Send this revised script to Rupert Murdoch! Right! I'll fax the fix to Fox!

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

Multi-Tasking

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

'Anorak anoraks'.

Replacement Bus Spotters.

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

Bird Watching with Binoculars

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Hans Holbein

John Waters

Will Self deprecation

Now that I've written the book, could you put in a good word with the sales team's muse?

Musical Prodigy

How to create a brilliant cartoon

Hollywood director.

"This is a selection from my novel about a writers' group that has one real writer and five wanna-be b*****s."

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

"Bible studies class? We're still writing it."

'I remember my pin but I've forgotten my signature!'

Writer’s Corner

"Would it hurt you to take two minutes from writing code to write your grandmother?"

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'

A pen spewing letters