Script Scribbler Gifts

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

Recycling Station: Manuscripts.

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

Multi-Tasking

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

'Anorak anoraks'.

Replacement Bus Spotters.

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

Bird Watching with Binoculars

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

Hans Holbein

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Will Self deprecation

Musical Prodigy

How to create a brilliant cartoon

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

'I remember my pin but I've forgotten my signature!'

"This is a selection from my novel about a writers' group that has one real writer and five wanna-be b*****s."

"Bible studies class? We're still writing it."

Hollywood director.

Writer’s Corner

"Would it hurt you to take two minutes from writing code to write your grandmother?"

Tourist graffiti on the top of a mountain.

A pen spewing letters

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'

"It's the worst case of writer's block Sidney has ever had. He hasn't put a word on the page since fifth grade!"

"Careful - it's full of lies."