Speedy Scribbler Gifts

'I don't have a printer, but I an write really fast.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

When Cells Divide

Replacement Bus Spotters.

'Anorak anoraks'.

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

Is plagiarism the same as value adding?

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

'Ms. Snack, prepare the conference room for an executive sting.'

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'Tax.'

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

Meet the Shameless Self-Promoter 2 PM

Bird Watching with Binoculars

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Hans Holbein

Now that I've written the book, could you put in a good word with the sales team's muse?

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

Solve for x x r 2.

Musical Prodigy

How to create a brilliant cartoon

"I'm beginning to think that coming up with a password that's never been used may be an unsolvable problem."

Modern Nursery Rhymes

Writer’s Corner

Anna Burns

Screenwriters, Inc. Send this revised script to Rupert Murdoch! Right! I'll fax the fix to Fox!

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."