Science Scribbler Gifts

'Fifty-seven authors, and neither one of us was included.'

'My toughest course is 'Chemistry for English majors.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

When Cells Divide

'Anorak anoraks'.

Replacement Bus Spotters.

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'Tax.'

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

Bird Watching with Binoculars

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

Hans Holbein

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Now that I've written the book, could you put in a good word with the sales team's muse?

Solve for x x r 2.

Will Self deprecation

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

OOPS!

Musical Prodigy

"I'm beginning to think that coming up with a password that's never been used may be an unsolvable problem."

How to create a brilliant cartoon

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

"This is a selection from my novel about a writers' group that has one real writer and five wanna-be b*****s."

"Bible studies class? We're still writing it."

Anna Burns

Writer’s Corner

Screenwriters, Inc. Send this revised script to Rupert Murdoch! Right! I'll fax the fix to Fox!