Student Scribblers Gifts

"It's from your student loan office."

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

Replacement Bus Spotters.

'Anorak anoraks'.

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Will Self deprecation

'Honestly, I didn't mean any of those things I wrote about you in my diary last night!'

Musical Prodigy

Anna Burns

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

A pen spewing letters

Tourist graffiti on the top of a mountain.

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'

'I can't read a word of this essay of yours. Excellent work.'

"We have pills for some of that."

"It took me 4 years to finish my book!"

That night, Rose found out that her husband was not only a sleepwalker, but also a sleepblogger.

What do you think of my idea for non-violent protests of Arizona's onerous immigration laws? Outdated. But - This is the era of MMA - Martial Arts Brawls, pay-per-view battles to submission. If you're mad at Arizona, challenge it to a cage match until one of the other of you breaks your forearm!!! Know your audience. I'll pay $16 to watch you wrestle Arizona's governor.

"Careful - it's full of lies."

False joviality.

Chicken soup for the bloggers soul.

'My blog has its own blog.'

Scribbling Rivalry.

James Kelman

"But I have a hard time calling this real writing."

'Fifty-seven authors, and neither one of us was included.'

'I think he was born to be a doctor. Nobody can read anything he writes!'

"We're practicing our bad penmanship. In case we want to become doctors some day."

"Before I went on antidepressants I had a better sense of how mediocre my writing was."

Ugh – Whenever I write down ideas in the middle of the night, they make absolutely no sense in the morning.

"You wouldn't like it if I woke up and wrote things down in the middle of the night."

"Ah, to be young again."

'Martin's a birth registrar.'