Code Scribbler Gifts

"Would it hurt you to take two minutes from writing code to write your grandmother?"

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'Anorak anoraks'.

When Cells Divide

Replacement Bus Spotters.

'Ms. Snack, prepare the conference room for an executive sting.'

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

'Tax.'

Bird Watching with Binoculars

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

Hans Holbein

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Will Self deprecation

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

How to create a brilliant cartoon

Musical Prodigy

"Bible studies class? We're still writing it."

"This is a selection from my novel about a writers' group that has one real writer and five wanna-be b*****s."

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

'I remember my pin but I've forgotten my signature!'

Writer’s Corner

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

Astrophysics made simple.

"It's the worst case of writer's block Sidney has ever had. He hasn't put a word on the page since fifth grade!"