Lyric Scribbler Gifts

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Multi-Tasking

Replacement Bus Spotters.

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

I'm currently working on my autobiography. Would you care to help make page 327 interesting?

Shakespeare working on his "author's bio"

Never write a sonnet on an empty stomach

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

Colin kept a notebook by his bed to write down any ideas he had during the night... "Genulph hyu donkey slapperthwaite."

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Now that I've written the book, could you put in a good word with the sales team's muse?

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

John Waters

Will Self deprecation

Musical Prodigy

"Bible studies class? We're still writing it."

'He's just come back from a 'stress management' course.'

Hollywood director.

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

Writer’s Corner

Screenwriters, Inc. Send this revised script to Rupert Murdoch! Right! I'll fax the fix to Fox!

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

"Would it hurt you to take two minutes from writing code to write your grandmother?"

School of Music. If you need perseverance to be a musician, what's all this I hear about unfinished symphonies?

"Baldo, it's great that you want to draw editorial cartoons for the school paper. But effective cartoons comment on important issues. They are not a forum for your personal agenda."

"It's the worst case of writer's block Sidney has ever had. He hasn't put a word on the page since fifth grade!"

A pen spewing letters

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'