Poem Scribbler Gifts

'Alvin writes poetry...he he has a great imagination...He imagines someone will actually read that Junk!'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

'Anorak anoraks'.

Replacement Bus Spotters.

I'm currently working on my autobiography. Would you care to help make page 327 interesting?

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

Shakespeare working on his "author's bio"

Never write a sonnet on an empty stomach

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

Colin kept a notebook by his bed to write down any ideas he had during the night... "Genulph hyu donkey slapperthwaite."

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Now that I've written the book, could you put in a good word with the sales team's muse?

Will Self deprecation

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

'Honestly, I didn't mean any of those things I wrote about you in my diary last night!'

'Are you sure this is the only way to get rid of your writers block?'

Screenwriters, Inc. Send this revised script to Rupert Murdoch! Right! I'll fax the fix to Fox!

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

"Bible studies class? We're still writing it."

'He's just come back from a 'stress management' course.'

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

Writer’s Corner

Writer's Block

A pen spewing letters

"It's the worst case of writer's block Sidney has ever had. He hasn't put a word on the page since fifth grade!"

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'

"Baldo, it's great that you want to draw editorial cartoons for the school paper. But effective cartoons comment on important issues. They are not a forum for your personal agenda."