Scribbler's Muse Gifts

Writer's Block

'Are you sure this is the only way to get rid of your writers block?'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

I'm currently working on my autobiography. Would you care to help make page 327 interesting?

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

Colin kept a notebook by his bed to write down any ideas he had during the night... "Genulph hyu donkey slapperthwaite."

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Empty landscape containing food and stationery.

Will Self deprecation

I told you the King wasn't ready for irony!

Now that I've written the book, could you put in a good word with the sales team's muse?

'Hows it coming?'

Woody Allen

'Your poetry totally captures the raw, primitive essence of the writing workshops you've attended.'

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

'He's just come back from a 'stress management' course.'

Writer’s Corner

"I decided to burn all my previous napkins and start fresh."

"No wonder you're struggling with your novel. You're not wearing your writer's hat."

A pen spewing letters

"Baldo, it's great that you want to draw editorial cartoons for the school paper. But effective cartoons comment on important issues. They are not a forum for your personal agenda."

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'

"It's the worst case of writer's block Sidney has ever had. He hasn't put a word on the page since fifth grade!"

John Bolton

Must be old-timers – You don't see cursive anymore.

Kate Atkinson