Sermon Scribbler Gifts

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

"Oh there you are Pastor! Hey, I hope I'm not interrupting..."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

Replacement Bus Spotters.

'Anorak anoraks'.

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

When Holy Cows Are Sent Out To 'Pastor'.

Shakespeare working on his "author's bio"

Never write a sonnet on an empty stomach

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

Church: Open Sundays

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

Will Self deprecation

Now that I've written the book, could you put in a good word with the sales team's muse?

Musical Prodigy

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

Our busy Sundays are Christmas, Easter and hurricane season.

'Last week's sermon was supposed to be about Plagues, but I got the flu.'

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

"Bible studies class? We're still writing it."

Writer’s Corner

"Bretheren and Sistern out there in Congregational Land!"

Screenwriters, Inc. Send this revised script to Rupert Murdoch! Right! I'll fax the fix to Fox!

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

"You realise that the job involves Sunday work?"

'One reason I like hanging out with you is you give me so many good ideas for my sermons.'

"Would it hurt you to take two minutes from writing code to write your grandmother?"