Sermon Scribbler Prints

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

"Oh there you are Pastor! Hey, I hope I'm not interrupting..."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

'Anorak anoraks'.

Replacement Bus Spotters.

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

Shakespeare working on his "author's bio"

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

Never write a sonnet on an empty stomach

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

Will Self deprecation

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

Church: Open Sundays

Musical Prodigy

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

Our busy Sundays are Christmas, Easter and hurricane season.

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

'Last week's sermon was supposed to be about Plagues, but I got the flu.'

Writer’s Corner

"Bible studies class? We're still writing it."

"Bretheren and Sistern out there in Congregational Land!"

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

"You realise that the job involves Sunday work?"

'One reason I like hanging out with you is you give me so many good ideas for my sermons.'

"Would it hurt you to take two minutes from writing code to write your grandmother?"

'Pastor Bob is so dramatic.'

'If God tells you what to say in your sermon, why do you make so many corrections?'