Young Scribblers T-Shirts

'I think he was born to be a doctor. Nobody can read anything he writes!'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

Will Self deprecation

Now that I've written the book, could you put in a good word with the sales team's muse?

Anna Burns

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

Writer’s Corner

'He's just come back from a 'stress management' course.'

Screenwriters, Inc. Send this revised script to Rupert Murdoch! Right! I'll fax the fix to Fox!

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

"It's the worst case of writer's block Sidney has ever had. He hasn't put a word on the page since fifth grade!"

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'

"Baldo, it's great that you want to draw editorial cartoons for the school paper. But effective cartoons comment on important issues. They are not a forum for your personal agenda."

A pen spewing letters

"It's an unfinished Wordle."

'I can't read a word of this essay of yours. Excellent work.'

Recycling Station: Manuscripts.

What do you think of my idea for non-violent protests of Arizona's onerous immigration laws? Outdated. But - This is the era of MMA - Martial Arts Brawls, pay-per-view battles to submission. If you're mad at Arizona, challenge it to a cage match until one of the other of you breaks your forearm!!! Know your audience. I'll pay $16 to watch you wrestle Arizona's governor.

"It took me 4 years to finish my book!"

"We have pills for some of that."

Kate Atkinson

John Bolton

False joviality.