Court Sport Humorist Gifts

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Football Chameleon

Punt Cake

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Pete Sampras

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Gary turns 40.

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

Alternative fielding positions

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"Getting the hang of it?"

Sloth 10K.

The Hockey World

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Why won't you cuddle?"

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

'But your honor, imitation is the sincerest form of copyright infringement.'