Country Club Member Gifts

Drunk Golfer: "This is 'A Full Member'.

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

"You'll learn a lot at our book club...like how to read between the wines."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

A newspaper stand in a rural area.

For every moment in life there is a song that describes it perfectly.'

'You had me at OOOO-AARRR!'

"You're way too strong Dad: You've overshot the green by about two hundred metres..."

"Well, the hills were alive with the sound of music...I'm sure!"

Man sleeping with newspaper at gentlemen's club

Men drinking

Jurassic Country Club.

"Well, well, looks like we got ourselves a coupla city types here, and a couple more city types right behind 'em, and a whole mess o' city types transferrin' to the Queens-bound F train."

"Now might be a good time to talk about your grip."

'It's a deal -- I'll introduce a bill to bail out your country club, and you'll introduce a bill to bail out my country club!'

Putting out on the green is called 'The Short Game'.

HEALTH CLUB, 'It's just a bunch of guys sitting around eating breakfast cereal.'

'Boy Scouts aren't ANY kind of terrorists!'

Bud's Club...Where Buds, Bubs and Bros gather!

'Actually, we're members of a mountain climbing club named for sir Edmund Hillary.'

The countryside haircut gets quite the haircut at this time of year, doesn't it?

I'm warning you. My nosy parents are chaperoning. It'll be fine. Eco Club Dance. All they want to do is spy on me. You're safe. You think? Is that Twig? I forgot my night-vision goggles.

"Folks new to country living quickly learn to tell the difference between "gravel roads" and dirt roads"."

Eccentric clothing may tend to interfere with play.

We couldn't convince the football players to give up their bottled water. Hmpf. As eco club president

"This one travels 30 yards farther when you throw it."

Urban Squirrels

A Hunter Lokking For Birds To Shoot.

Man protecting himself from potential golfballs

'I don't care if it's only once every 17 years and crucial to a cicada's ability to attract a mate...'

"Welcome, comadres, to this first meeting of the Very Wise Latina League!"

'He's the only one we could get to be master of ceremonies.'

'I read the Club's constitution and then realized I did fit the entry criteria, so I decided to join...'

"I'm guessing this is the first time Jack's had a chance to make par?"

'It suprises me you want your files organized.