Country Club Goer Gifts

Angry golfer with gun

'I don't care if it's only once every 17 years and crucial to a cicada's ability to attract a mate...'

The only time cats are known to laugh.

Trilby - 'Bonjour, Suzon!'

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

Dance.

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

A newspaper stand in a rural area.

'You had me at OOOO-AARRR!'

For every moment in life there is a song that describes it perfectly.'

"Well, the hills were alive with the sound of music...I'm sure!"

'Listen up, you ghoul fools, at midnight the mummy takes off the wrappings! Heh heh - just kidding folks, but seriously...'

Out of Context Nite with Jeremy Clarkson.

Jurassic Country Club.

Still a mystery to scientists, honey bees will 'dance' for the other hive members in order to signify the exact location of flowers to be pollinated.

"Well, well, looks like we got ourselves a coupla city types here, and a couple more city types right behind 'em, and a whole mess o' city types transferrin' to the Queens-bound F train."

Ladies, welcome to Palais des Beefcakes. Please observe our rules. NO making lewd propositions to our performers and absolutely no touching. No touching. Let's me and you honeymoon.

'The thing I like about jazz is nobody notices if I hit the wrong notes.'

"Now might be a good time to talk about your grip."

Putting out on the green is called 'The Short Game'.

Shorn sheep gets Baaaaard!

"I'd like to sing some songs from the great American songbook, I'll start with the Dead Kennedys. . ."

The countryside haircut gets quite the haircut at this time of year, doesn't it?

Crisis at the health club.

"Folks new to country living quickly learn to tell the difference between "gravel roads" and dirt roads"."

Dog urinating against a table dancer's pole.

"Jerk! They know me here!!"

A Hunter Lokking For Birds To Shoot.

"My prescription was for Dramamine, not drama queen!"

Urban Squirrels

"This one travels 30 yards farther when you throw it."

Eccentric clothing may tend to interfere with play.

Red Hat Society.

'Is the divorce pool still open?'