Country Club Goers Gifts

Eccentric clothing may tend to interfere with play.

Jazz quartet, piano, bass, sax and drums

Trilby - 'Bonjour, Suzon!'

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

Dance.

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

"Is it horny in here, or is it just me?"

Jurassic Country Club.

Ladies, welcome to Palais des Beefcakes. Please observe our rules. NO making lewd propositions to our performers and absolutely no touching. No touching. Let's me and you honeymoon.

"Well, well, looks like we got ourselves a coupla city types here, and a couple more city types right behind 'em, and a whole mess o' city types transferrin' to the Queens-bound F train."

Still a mystery to scientists, honey bees will 'dance' for the other hive members in order to signify the exact location of flowers to be pollinated.

"I'm all over the Internet, so why hide? I might as well come out and enjoy myself."

'The thing I like about jazz is nobody notices if I hit the wrong notes.'

"Now might be a good time to talk about your grip."

'I told you smokefree bars wouldn't be the end of it!'

As Jeff entered the remote country pub, he realised the locals were in-bred.

The countryside haircut gets quite the haircut at this time of year, doesn't it?

"I'd like to sing some songs from the great American songbook, I'll start with the Dead Kennedys. . ."

Putting out on the green is called 'The Short Game'.

Shorn sheep gets Baaaaard!

"Do I have to take sides between Ed Koch and Donald Trump?"

The vuvuzelas also came in handy after the tournament.

Dog urinating against a table dancer's pole.

"I'm all for taking away the darts and giving him back his car keys."

"It's very convenient." - The 'must have' for a knight in the pub.

Three juniors want to join our eco club. Good recruiting! No way I'm letting them in! What?! Be we need new members! Not necessarily! Gore lies. Global warming is hot air! I (heart) fur.

'Shirt and shoes required. No tank tops.'

"Jerk! They know me here!!"

"Would you like to dance with me?"

"Sorry guys, these are restricted premises: Show me your teeth so that I can check your age..."

"This one travels 30 yards farther when you throw it."

Celebrity anagrams: Drab Ian's bar row (Answer: Barbara Windsor.)

"You're not from around here are you?"

"The Bells, The Bells."