Country Club Gifts

"This one travels 30 yards farther when you throw it."

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

'The grudge match.'

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'You had me at OOOO-AARRR!'

A newspaper stand in a rural area.

'Don't just stand there, get into focus!'

For every moment in life there is a song that describes it perfectly.'

"Well, the hills were alive with the sound of music...I'm sure!"

'It's always the same, isn't it, Dave?... Every time you spot a glitter ball!'

Jurassic Country Club.

Man's evolution to the Strip club.

Pastoral Choirs

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

Time-of-the-month club.

The Croucho Club

Pole Vaulting Club

"Oh, we're not bouncers. We just can't fit through the door."

"Well, well, looks like we got ourselves a coupla city types here, and a couple more city types right behind 'em, and a whole mess o' city types transferrin' to the Queens-bound F train."

"Now might be a good time to talk about your grip."

Making Things Pleasant.

Putting out on the green is called 'The Short Game'.

"Welcome back sir: please come down..."

"Howard, you've met my ukulele ladies before."

'If you couldn't get into clubs, what makes you think you can get in here?'

The countryside haircut gets quite the haircut at this time of year, doesn't it?

I use to file your expenses at the office Mr. Henderson, but I never dreamed I'd be one of them.

'Oh, I just love dealing with investment clubs. Now, in whose name will you be buying the one-half share of Microsoft?'

'WOOHOOO! Yeah BABY, yeah!' (at a zebra strip show)

'Well this shouldn't last long.'

"Folks new to country living quickly learn to tell the difference between "gravel roads" and dirt roads"."

You'd like the eco club. We do good stuff. I'm sure. But there are a lot of clubs. Right? Right. And they all need "diversity," right? So you need to cut the best deal. West Fester High School. I have attractive offers from the debate team, chess club and the cheerleaders. Our 100% green t-shirt doesn't entice you.

Bumbles bounce

Club of the Month

Easy Come, Easy Go: Big Splenders Club.