Country Club Activities Gifts

"Rule number one, never laugh!"

Jurassic Country Club.

"Well, well, looks like we got ourselves a coupla city types here, and a couple more city types right behind 'em, and a whole mess o' city types transferrin' to the Queens-bound F train."

'What?... You wanted your horse SHOD!?'

Pastoral Choirs

"Now might be a good time to talk about your grip."

The countryside haircut gets quite the haircut at this time of year, doesn't it?

Making Things Pleasant.

Putting out on the green is called 'The Short Game'.

Eccentric clothing may tend to interfere with play.

"This one travels 30 yards farther when you throw it."

Men talking in a club house

Man protecting himself from potential golfballs

'No wonder this club has such a low membership fee.'

'I don't care if it's only once every 17 years and crucial to a cicada's ability to attract a mate...'

"We're moving back out to the country."

"I'm guessing this is the first time Jack's had a chance to make par?"

Scrabble night.

Angry golfer with gun

"You realise if we're going to be proper urban foxes there's to be no more Country music in the den."

The game requires no great physical strength...

Accident with guns

'Which do you prefer being called...'rich' or job creator'?'

'Once I gave a sucker an even break. It ruined my whole day.'

Golf Lady

"Golf is the only game that comes with a slave."

"Golf is the worst fun anyone can have."

"Please take a seat and wait! The dentist is very busy today. He has almost done eighteenth holes!"

"My wife wants suede for her birthday. You have any leather cows for sale?"

Man sees 'Potatoes next left' sign, then car is hit by avalanche of potatoes.

Hey fellas! We have a clinger!

Last Day of Winter

"Maybe you should just slow your roll."

'Game over.'

"They'd better not try to stuff me full of electronics."