Country Club Members Gifts

"You wouldn't ask that if you knew how much golf clubs fees are these days!"

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

Mouse on an Exercise Bike

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

"You'll learn a lot at our book club...like how to read between the wines."

"You're way too strong Dad: You've overshot the green by about two hundred metres..."

Men drinking

Jurassic Country Club.

"Well, well, looks like we got ourselves a coupla city types here, and a couple more city types right behind 'em, and a whole mess o' city types transferrin' to the Queens-bound F train."

Pastoral Choirs

"Now might be a good time to talk about your grip."

'It's a deal -- I'll introduce a bill to bail out your country club, and you'll introduce a bill to bail out my country club!'

The countryside haircut gets quite the haircut at this time of year, doesn't it?

Putting out on the green is called 'The Short Game'.

HEALTH CLUB, 'It's just a bunch of guys sitting around eating breakfast cereal.'

I'm warning you. My nosy parents are chaperoning. It'll be fine. Eco Club Dance. All they want to do is spy on me. You're safe. You think? Is that Twig? I forgot my night-vision goggles.

'Boy Scouts aren't ANY kind of terrorists!'

"This one travels 30 yards farther when you throw it."

Eccentric clothing may tend to interfere with play.

Man protecting himself from potential golfballs

'No wonder this club has such a low membership fee.'

"We're moving back out to the country."

"I'm guessing this is the first time Jack's had a chance to make par?"

"Welcome, comadres, to this first meeting of the Very Wise Latina League!"

'I don't care if it's only once every 17 years and crucial to a cicada's ability to attract a mate...'

'He's the only one we could get to be master of ceremonies.'

'I read the Club's constitution and then realized I did fit the entry criteria, so I decided to join...'

'It suprises me you want your files organized.

Angry golfer with gun

Golf Lady

Man sees 'Potatoes next left' sign, then car is hit by avalanche of potatoes.

"My wife wants suede for her birthday. You have any leather cows for sale?"

The game requires no great physical strength...

'Which do you prefer being called...'rich' or job creator'?'

"You realise if we're going to be proper urban foxes there's to be no more Country music in the den."